Home » Jaya, Part One
Jaya, Part One
What they said was this:
(We were looking at a sheet with a breakdown of costs)
“The rent is this much. The electricity is this much. The water is this much. The gas costs us about this much. The rental of the scooter is this much. Oh. And then there’s Jaya.”
“Jaya?” we said.
“Yes, she works for us. As a maid, sort of. We’ve given her a small retainer so that she’ll continue to work for us in the fall, and she is going to be staying in the small building out back. You don’t have to hire her, but it would be really nice, it would really help her out, if you could. Otherwise she’ll have to go looking for work, and I don’t know how easy that will be for her, here in the village. She doesn’t have a car.
My thoughts on the subject previously had been this:
I don’t want to have help in India, I like cooking, and cleaning is important for the family to do. I don’t want someone picking up after us.
My thoughts at this point were this:
I have no idea how to run a home in India. This feels like a different planet, not a different country.
Chinua and my thoughts about Jaya were this:
If there was ever a time to have some help, it would be now, learning the markets, learning cooking, figuring out the hygiene issues, learning about how to keep a house in the jungle clean and relatively mildew and bug free. Relatively. And we don’t want her to have to go searching for work. The price is more than reasonable. We previously had judgments about the way things were done here, but we realize that we have to adjust to the culture before passing judgment. This is the way things are done here.
And this is the story of how we ended up with a full time housekeeper without really knowing what that would mean. And of how Jaya and I do little dances, me trying to do my part but not wanting to take too much away from her, because she literally won’t have enough to do, her telling me to stop doing dishes, me trying to make sure the kids clean up after themselves and clear their plates, her shaking her head at me, because I’m strange, me so exhausted in this humidity in the final stages of my pregnancy that I have never been more thankful for help.
Me with time to play cards with my kids everyday. Jaya happy because I cook at least two meals a day, when she is used to doing all the cooking and cleaning for the same amount of money. Me with time to really work on potty training Leafy. Jaya coming to the market with me, happy because I carry half of the bags. Me happy because she is teaching me where things are in the market.
Me guilty because I’m from the North American West Coast, pull yourself up by your bootstraps country.
Me realizing that having a full time housekeeper is like having another family member in the house. Me becoming friends with Jaya. Me realizing that there is a whole lot more to moving to another country than I ever dreamed of.
July 4th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I’m actually envious! Imagine having a housekeeper. Enjoy it while it lasts, and if you can help someone by employing them, hire another one after you leave this house. As you said, it’s all part of the culture. Imagine having time to homeschool your kids and play with them and things still get done!
July 4th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Count your blessings! I think it would be wonderful…and she sounds like a tremendous help in learning the culture and the country. Also, I’m keenly interested in India…I love Indian food and have learned to cook it here in the USA. I look forward to reading all of your post entries!
July 4th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I lived in korea for a year when I was little and my mom was forced to get a housekeeper/nanny to watch my brother and I just so she could go to the market. (The old men would try to run off with me to show their wives this crazy blond haired girl.) I came away from Korea knowing only one Korean phrase because of that nanny: Come here so I can spank your butt!
I’m sure your’s is much sweeter.
July 4th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Hello Rae…I’ve been checking your blog every now and then…and it’s as if you’ve gotten my telepathic message I’ve been sending you: please please get someone to help you…I also live in the “3rd world” and am SO thankful for our housekeeper…when you’ve lived in a country where driving and convenience are not necessarily part of everyone’s vocabulary, it’s a Godsend to have an extra cheerful person to help, and in time, to love you and yours. I’m so happy for you, it’s like I’ve been worrying about you and how you would manage with the new one coming. God sends us what we need.
Peace,
Nora.
July 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
ha!
i wouldn’t feel guilty at all, and I live in Santa Cruz, for heavens sake.
Live it up, Rachel-this is a major blessing!
July 4th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
I wouldn’t dream of living there, with a family, without a house helper. I’m glad you have Jaya. She will be a blessing to you, and you will be to her. Sometime I’d love to see pics of your home in the jungle. Blessings!
July 4th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
We definitely plan to have a house helper when we move to China. I used to think it was some sort of colonialism until I went overseas. In fact, most locals expect Americans to contribute some of their wealth to the local economy by hiring help. There is also no better way for a mommy of little ones (who has to spend a fair bit of time at home) to have access to the local culture and a trusted friend who can help her navigate life in a foreign place.
What a blessing you didn’t have to go looking for a friend in this busy time of your life! Blessings to you. I am enjoying reading your adventures of living with little ones overseas as we prepare to go. Most likely we will have three and a fourth on the way about the time we move.
July 4th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
One of my best friends is from Goa (of a Catholic, Portuguese-speaking family, the colonial elite). She’s a great storyteller and a historian, so after all these years being friends with her and meeting her family etc I kind of get a picture of how it works in such a society. I think it is a perfectly normal and fair situation you have with Jaya. Your family and her family will help each other a lot - and that’s what matters.
Marta from Lisbon
July 5th, 2008 at 1:55 am
Jealous Much?? yes!
July 5th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Jaya sounds like a small miracle.
July 7th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Wow, does that ever sound like the hook up blessing. Thank you God for sending the Fords Jaya and for giving Jaya the Fords.
P.S. That was the name the Nepali waiters gave me at Shiva’s in Kathmandu.
July 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Hey, I love all the perspectives and you are all so encouraging.
One thing that is super positive also is that I am really using this time to work on my book. Every single day. Which is phenomenal, and Jaya is helping so much with that.
July 18th, 2008 at 4:06 am
I WISH I had a maid! I am glad you have some much needed help. I have been reading your post and want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am gald you are settling in there. Know that you guys are loved and missed by Greg and I.
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
[...] Jaya first started working with us, or, when we first started living with her, when we moved into this house, I was never sure of [...]